It happened again last night.
For the past month I have been having dreams. Last night it happened again. I woke up drenched, even the tops of my knees were wet with my perspiration. I am not hot, in fact I feel a bit cool and I can feel goose bumps coming and going.
There are no people in my dreams.
I am always alone.
They begin with me needing to do something, something big. There is always a large staircase that I must climb and a good distance that I must walk. The weather is always beautiful, both day and night.
Last night's dream was about me having to move. It was all about the stuff I needed to move and how I was moving it piece by piece up the stairs. My stuff was scattered so I had to go to many closets and rooms to find each piece and I moved only one thing at a time. Then I would have to carry it up those long stairs. But when I get to the top of those stairs, I am happy because the floors are so shiny. This repeats over and over until I wake up drenched in my own sweat.
I don't dream these dreams every night. The pattern is random, a night here and there. But the plot is always the same, just different scenarios. Then the following morning my fibromyalgia is flared and I feel so physically tired.
Today my hands, feet and under my arms are burning terribly like a really bad sunburn. My breathing is shallow and I have to force myself to breathe deep, it just doesn't come naturally. Every joint is swollen and aching. I hurt everywhere. The ringing in my ears is annoying. My skin is so sensitive it hurts at every touch. My brain is fogged but still trying to keep me motivated to get up and try. I want to go back to bed, take a pill and try to sleep through it. But that won't fix it either. I need to do my stretches, walk as much as I can, and stay busy so that I feel like I am accomplishing something. I don't want to give in or let it win.
I hate fibromyalgia.
Tomorrow will be better.