Talking to Myself

 It's going to get very cold in the next few days.  

That is not unusual for January.  Thehubs has his 75th Birthday Sunday and we had planned to spend a nice evening at the local casino. But, the Chiefs play Saturday night and this weather will be so cold. Instead we will have a few people over to watch the game and I will prepare appetizers.  I am thinking spinach artichoke dip, pickle roll ups, wings, maybe chili with red velvet cake for his sweet birthday.

I am still healing from my spine and hip surgeries.

I am progressing very well and just have to be patient.  I didn't know that carrying something in your hands while walking could be so hard.  I will be using my bone stimulator another 4 months for 2 hours a day. I am lucky I have always done stretches and rotations for my fibromyalgia. This has been a big benefit in my recovery.

My mental health is getting better. I just started a new anxiety medicine and so far it is helping with a few side effects. Hopefully I won't be on it long.  I have had a hard time picking myself up after these few months of so much pain.  I do know that a younger body heals faster than this old one.  I have been tested and I am working to get better. I have a great psychologist and she is opening my eyes to what I had lost when we buried our kids these past few years. We are still lost at the holidays. It is hard to say that I am no longer a mom, it hurts, and I need to find my own identity. 2024 will be interesting. I am walking in uncharted territory.

My word for 2024 is kindness. I want to be more kind, be surrounded by kind souls, feel the kindness of others and give kindness first. I also plan to remove myself from unkind conversations or events. My second word is fun.  I want more fun, to be more fun and to laugh more.

Hodge Podge answers

Joining in over at

From this Side of the Pond Blog

Hodgepodge Questions

1. If your life had a theme song for this past year what would it be? 

I can't think of any particular song. I like all different kinds of music. My favorite, I guess, would be Chris Stapleton's Music. The National Anthem at last year's superbowl made me so emotional.

2. Chocolate cake, chocolate milkshake, chocolate ice cream, chocolate truffle, chocolate mousse, chocolate candy bar or a fudgy chocolate brownie...of the chocolate treats listed, which one is your favorite? Which one have you tasted most recently? Or maybe you don't like chocolate???

All of the above. I love sweets.

3. What has surprised you recently? 

The lack of respect and compassion breeding in our society, a lack of trust in our government, the invasion of single males walking into our county from other countries.

4. September 19th is National Voter Registration Day in the US. Are you registered to vote in whatever state or country you happen to live in right now? If not, why not? Not counting a political race, what's something you've had to vote on recently? 

We live out in the country so we do not vote on any city ballots.  We never vote for regulations, limits, or fees that others in the city experience. I vote no on any new taxes, they never have enough, ever!  Our school taxes are enormous.

5. Do you like to hike? If so, when's the last time you went hiking and where'd ya go? If you're not a hiker are you a walker? Is walking (for exercise, etc.) part of your daily/weekly routine? 

I have not hiked in several years due to cranky bones. Tomorrow I am getting spine surgery that should help with that. We are surrounded by woods and creeks so I can hike just about anywhere I want.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

Another Monday - Hello August!

Good Morning Neighbors.

August is here and I am excited for fall.

I hope I will be able to walk again without pain soon.

My hip surgery is scheduled for the 17th and I pray the pain will be gone shortly after.

I am joining in with Sandra over at

Family Corner Blog for her 

HAPPY HOMEMAKER MONDAY!

THE WEATHER:

Better than July, hot but tolerable, overcast skies and a nice breeze.

We might get rain on Tuesday but this is the Ozarks and

Mother Nature is moody, very moody!

OUT MY WINDOW:

Sitting at my dining table I can see our pond, blooming red flowers and kayaks.

Thehubs and I have created a beautiful yard and landscape.

RIGHT NOW I AM:

Blogging, reading and drinking coffee. 

Our sinuses are stuffed so we are waiting for our sinus medication to kick in.

Kitty has been outside and is now asleep in her bed.

Thehubs is working in his office and the house is quiet.

THINKING AND PONDERING:

Boredom.  A list of house work. Laundry. Pain in my hip, back and legs.

This summer has been spent inside using a walker and I have had very little communication to and from my normal world.  Work ethic is big here in Missouri. If my hip wasn't bone on bone, I would have been outside working with the others. It has been a very lonely summer.

Our 25th Wedding Anniversary was a bad memory and how to change the trajectory of our future.

Praying that our 26th Wedding Anniversary is a good memory.

LISTENING TO:

Nothing but quiet.

The sound of my home.

The wonderful cool air blowing through the air vents.

HOW AM I FEELING:

Pain, stopped up nose, ringing ears.

Like an alien in my own body.

Confused, too much stress and too little relief from it.

FOOD:

I have a freezer full of meat, and a pantry full of vegetables.

The fresh vegetables are tapering off.

I fried sweet potatoes last night for the first time and they were delicious.

Too hard to plan right now, our eating schedule is eat whenever.

The benefit of retirement I guess.

WHAT AM I WEARING:

Long gown pajamas with soft socks.

My favorite would be jeans and t-shirt.

ON MY READING PILE:

Blogs, Instagram

ON MY TV THIS WEEK:

Nothing, we rarely watch it.

Too much want, too much sex, too much of too much of everything.

ON THE MENU:

Not sure, have lots of food and will decide each day.

LOOKING AROUND THE HOUSE:

The house is good.

Dishes, laundry, general pickup and of course dirty toilets.

I will be needing to repot some plants.

Our bed is on the floor due to my hip so

my bedroom looks a bit un-done.

I ordered two prints from Kirklands for my birthday.

I love them but am hitting a blank when it comes to hanging them.

I hope to get my fall decor down this week.

I am hoping it cheers me up.

TO DO LIST:

Get some new glasses.

Paint light over kitchen sink.

Cook a meal for our neighbor that is so helpful.

Mail a card to a friend in need of some uplifting words.

Take Mom for ice cream.

DEVOTION:

Thank you for coming over to visit. I am glad you stopped by.

Jackie See

aka GeeDazee

Another Monday - the end of July

Today is the last day of July and I think everyone is glad to see it go. This week's temperature outside is expected to reach 108 degrees.  I have had an outdoor thermometer for almost 20 years and this is the first time it's used three digits. To sum it up, July was HOT, painfully hot.

I turned 65 and with that came all of the medicare mail. I am very popular right now with medicare solicitors. They call, they email, and the mail box if full.  So confusing, but I stayed to the helm and managed to get one that fits my needs. Now to notify all the medical angels that are in my life.

We lost a dear friend yesterday to a brain bleed after a fall. Another reminder to get out and visit all those who hold a place in my heart. However, as I age and my body fails, this is not an easy trip.

I also found out that I am in extreme need of two surgeries, hip replacement and 3 spinal fusions (I already have two). This will be my23rd and 24th surgery so nothing is going to surprise me.  But, this is the first time I have had to wait in a line for 2 months to get in.  In pain, and waiting my turn, another 2 months to go.

Now on to Happy Homemaker link up:

Come and join the party by linking up with

www.familycorner.blogspot.com

The weather:

inside it will be 76 degree and I pray that our ac unit survives. I also pray for those who are going to have to choose between paying their electric bill and other necessities. There are a lot seniors suffering with this economy right now and a $300-$400 electric bill will take a large percentage of their social security.

Out my window:

Looking out my dining room window, I can see the gorgeous flower pots of geraniums and hibiscus still blooming.   I love this view, even though our back covered patio is really thehubs mancave. In between flowers you will find yard tools, work gloves, shoes and a beer fridge! He loves it out there and usually has evening guests that stop by for a cold beer and to say hello.

Right now I am:

Doing laundry, dishes, preparing files for phone calls this afternoon, and emptying my mind of words. 

Thinking and Pondering:

How full of words I am and how it all feels raw. I want to get out of this survival mindset. I really need a break from my environment, the past year it hasn't been healthy for me. I've dreamed of getting in my car and driving away not even knowing where I am going, just driving. Then I wake up and everything is the same. Thinking about losing my legs and not being able to walk or work, scary thoughts right now.

Listening to:

My washer, dryer and dishwasher and the ringing in my ears. It is now harvest season for local fields and the dust in the air is high which makes our eyes itch, ear ring and our sinuses stuffy.

How am I feeling:

Trying to empty and organize my thoughts today. So many to do's and no one to help. It's lonely when you lose your children.

Food:

I have a refrigerator full of food. BBQ pork steak, Grilled filet mignon, grilled vegetables, fresh vegetables from our garden and several bags of delicious fruit. I am not a good eater. I lost my colon, then have had more surgeries that have ended up with me having a belly full of scar tissue. I eat about every two hours, small portions.  I usually divide a meal for thehubs into small portions for me and I eat one vegetable at a time throughout my day. At the end of the day I have eaten a full meal, just in 2 hour increments. I can't lose a damn pound... because I drink a gallon and of milk and 2 days. I love milk.

What I am wearing:  Lounging pajamas. I am cleaning house, even with a walker, and trying to get it finished before I need to make phone calls this afternoon.

On my reading pile:

My journal and some blogs. I enjoy reading everyday people doing everyday things. Like walking next door and having a glass of iced tea.

On my tv this week:

I don't watch much television. I use to watch the news but turned that off when I felt I was being told what they wanted me to hear. So we just leave it turned off. 

On the menu:

listed above.

Looking around the house:

It is in good shape, just the usuals, laundry, dishes, and dirty toilets. Too hot to even go outside.

To do list:

To much to list. I am a caregiver to my Mom. and July wasn't good for her. I have been immobile and I only saw her once. August has to include new glasses, maybe a surgery I hope, dental repairs, and a promise to keep blogging. Hoping it helps me organize and understand my thoughts better.

Devotion:

~jackiesee~