Give me shoulders...

QUOTE FOR MY DAY: A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others. Frank Morgan

There are times – when you need help. You may not know you need help or know what kind of help you need. You may need a shoulder to cry on, or a shoulder to stand beside you, or a shoulder to step ahead of you and clear the way. You may need a strong shoulder, a quiet shoulder or a group of shoulders. But somewhere, sometime, someplace, you will need a shoulder.

When my brother Rod died, I cried on my cousin Thomas's shoulder. He was the first one there, shortly after the paramedics arrived. He just listened and wiped my tears. He is more than just my cousin, he is my neighbor, a father, a son, and a brother. Thomas has compassionate and caring shoulders.

When our dog Cowboy died, my brother Roy helped me carry him, bury him and cried with me. He even said a few words over the grave... gracious, heart-felt words. He knew his baby sister needed him and he was there. He is a tough man with a sincere and hilarious shoulder.

After my divorce, I was afraid and unsure of each step I took. Along came a man with a big heart and strong shoulders. He was patient as I learned to walk my new path. I made mistakes, changed directions, and took baby steps, slow baby steps. He waited. When I fell, he picked me up. When I wanted to dance, he took me dancing. When I cried, he gave me his shoulder to cry on. He carried the burdens of everyday life, and made me laugh at the same time. I married that man because he had the shoulders I needed, loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I love that man more each day, more each night and even more each year, 17 years and counting.

God will place shoulders into your life. You may need to clear the path, make the space and open your heart. But if life's garbage (and the people who create that garbage) get in the way, it can take up all of your space, all of your time and consume all of your energy. You have to make room for those shoulders that lift you up, share your sadness, your joys and your life. You heart will be much happier, more content, and so blessed.

May I share my shoulders with those I love, those I have yet to meet and those who need me.

Goodbye Cowboy...

Some days are hard, some days call for tough decisions. Today was one of those days. I had to say goodbye to our dog Cowboy today. Just one month ago, we had to also let our dog Duke go. Duke was sick, Cowboy was old.

It has been a tough day, a tough month and a tough year, or two.

Just a little over a year ago we said goodbye to my brother Rod. Then our son-in-laws Mother Rose, followed by my cousin Renee. Sadness, emptiness, followed by hard decisions that had to be made. Life coming to an end is like that. It is cruel, brings sorrow and tests your strength. Some days are strong days, some are not. But the sun still shines, you still have to go to work, you still have to pay the electric bill. Even if you are sad.

Sadness makes it hard to sleep, eat, and keep smiling, even if you are surrounded by many other blessings. It is like wearing sad glasses, the world seems different. Your morning coffee isn't as tasty, your favorite chair isn't as comfy, and your taste buds just can't be satisfied.

Goodbye to all those who have left us. Your memories are still here in my heart. Your photos are still in their frames. But life goes on. Just because you have left, doesn't stop us from living. It just makes living a little harder, a little sadder, a little tougher.

May God bless our journey, bring us smiles, and heal our broken hearts. May our days feel brighter, more joyous, and more appreciative of those whom we have shared our life with. May we honor their short time with us by celebrating tomorrows.

Changing the sheets...

QUOTE FOR MY DAY:  Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. Confucius

I have changed many sheets in my lifetime, many, too many to count. White ones, colored ones, flowered ones, striped ones, many colors, many designs, many, many times. Many sizes, twins, full, queens, kings... 

I wonder who came up with the names of sheet sizes? Probably the servant of a King and Queen of something, somewhere. It started somewhere back in time and has endured many changes (ha!).

It seems so easy. You take them off, wash them, dry them, then put them back on and they smell so good and are so clean. You hop into bed and you can just smell the clean, feel the clean, know the clean.

I wish life was that easy. I wish we could just stop for an hour, strip our lives of all the dirt, the anger, sorrow, exhaustion, frustration, you know those “germs of our lives” (is that a name of a soap opera?). Throw those feelings into the washing machine and turn the dial to sanitize. Wash it with Tide with fabric softener to make it come out so soft and smelling like a sunny day. Then toss it into the dryer, where all the lint of your life will come off. Then toss the lint into the trash.

Life is like that. It is full of lint, needs to be stripped, washed and sanitized... and then laid on.

Goodbye JC Penney

QUOTE FOR MY DAY: 

We've got to put a lot of money into changing behavior.  Bill Gates

I was shopping at the mall with a friend the other day. We spent the entire day going through racks of bargains, finding great deals and telling each other how good we look and laughing about it. It was a great day, a fun day, a day that filled up my self esteem bucket.

Then I met the store manager at JC Penney. His store was going through many changes, a remodel, and a price restructuring. He wasn't happy about it and after our conversation, I wasn't either. Last year, JC Penney had converted to a walmart style of pricing. One low price, all day, everyday. I loved it. If I saw something I wanted to purchase, I could buy it without regret, without wondering if a coupon or sale would happen tomorrow, or next week, or whenever. I fell in love with my local JC Penney store.

Our conversation was very informative. Simply put, the people didn't like it so JC Penney was changing it. My local JC Penney Store increased prices on 8,000 items that day alone and had more increases planned for the next day. JC Penny had lost $4,000,000,000 (that's 4 Billion Dollars!) over the time that they had went to a flat pricing structure. This store manager had received hate mail, harassing phone calls, and great losses in overall sales. So they were going back to the coupon thing. He held up a blouse newly marked $48, and told me it was only $28 yesterday. But I could buy a Sunday newspaper and cut out the coupon and save $10 on that blouse. I was so disappointed.

I am not against cutting out coupons, but I usually get to the store and realize I left my coupon on the counter at home. Or I get to the cash register to pay and can't find my coupon, then get embarrassed and pay the full price, then I take my purchase back two days later after feeling guilty and ignorant. I have a lot on my mind and finding a coupon is not a high priority. Getting to the Cookie Factory after walking from one end of the mall to the other is a priority.

Goodbye JC Penney and your coupons...

I have the choice to choose my friends.

QUOTE FOR MY DAY: I'm gonna make the REST of my life, the BEST of my life, and surround myself with ONLY people who lift me up. 

How do you end a relationship after investing several years and your heart? How do you divorce a friend or an organization and do it amicably? How do you walk away? How do you make the decision to walk away and do it without turning it into a world war?

That is a hard decision to make, a very hard decision to come to. But if that relationship drags you down, tears you up, and spits you out, the time may come to end it. To walk away and leave it in the past. Some may tell you to “grow a thick skin”, some may tell you to “just ignore the negativity”, but your "true" friends will tell you to end it. To move on to better things. How can you open a new opportunity when the old one is beating you up and you spend most of your energy mending your wounds? Walk away, wish them well, and move on.

Negativity is, in some cases a disease, a contagious disease that becomes a habit. And over time, people can develop negative feelings into negative actions. Habits like judgment and blame, criticism and rumors can be come habits for some people. They can tear you down, consume your energy and make you feel worthless. I have been there and I chose to walk away. I did not know how much of my energy and enthusiasm was being wasted, just trying to survive this relationship. What really makes me so sad? This relationship was with other women. Women standing under an umbrella of a good cause.

I chose to speak, then walk away. As sad as it was to quit, to fail, I had failed myself by staying. So I chose to move on. I no longer have to talk myself into feeling good about myself or work so hard to be liked. By closing that door, I am opening my heart and my energy to greater and happier opportunities. I can feel the negativity and the bad habits fading and being replaced with positive energy and gracious habits. I look forward to tomorrow, I feel good about myself, I love better and appreciate my friends. I feel their gifts.

You can lift me up... or you can go away...

Tomato Soup = True Love

QUOTE FOR MY DAY: True love is: fixing your wife tomato soup.... jackie

Having the flu is awful, just awful. Liquid slime pouring out of your nose is gross, coughing till you pee your flannel pajamas, while running to the toilet to spew undigested goop... well enough said, it is gross and painful. But it is also a time to show how much you truly love someone.

He made me tomato soup and served it to me in my favorite cup, one that says “Best Mom” (a treasure given to me by my way smarter than me daughter). Then he cautiously stepped back, yes he backed up, one step at a time. He didn't want to get too close to my nasty bug, but he did it, he made me tomato soup and brought it to me. Then, he slept on the couch.

He made a special trip to the store to get that tomato soup, several boxes of Puffs with lotion, Mucinex (a true miracle drug), and orange juice. While I laid there thinking I was going to die, sometimes wishing I would. 

I would have slept on the couch too.

That is true love...

Some days just start off kind of bad...

QUOTE FOR MY DAY: Sooner or later we are all someone's dog. Terry Pratchett

Started my day cleaning up doggy diarrhea... at 5am.

Cowboy is an old dog but a loyal one. He was a left behind dog, a yellow Lab with a big heart. His original owners had their home repossessed, moved and didn't want him. Such a sad story for such a happy dog. 

He has arthritis and can't climb the patio stairs anymore. So he takes the long way around to the new ones we built with shallower treads and even then he has to build momentum to climb them.

He is a jealous dog. When our other dog was put on a special diet, a very expensive one, Cowboy quit eating his food. He saw his buddy eating gourmet style, so he didn't want his affordable porridge anymore. He even quit eating his biscuits. Apparently he went on strike, a food strike. For two days, he didn't eat, just laid there, staring at his bowl of hard, dry dog food. He knew, his buddy Duke was around the corner, eating gourmet and he wanted gourmet too.

He is a smart dog. I tried hiding the gourmet food, tried to outsmart him, to conceal it from his view. But he knew, gourmet food was near. Why eat porridge when you can smell steak and potatoes? Being the smart pet owner that I am, I tried to fool him. I mixed his dry dog food with a few spoons of the gourmet dog food. It worked, he ate it and wagged his tail then finished his delicious meal with a biscuit. Mission accomplished.

Until 5am this morning...

some days are just kinda shitty, dog shitty that is.

My Mondays are my kind of day...

QUOTE FOR MY DAY: Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it. Henry Ford

My Mondays... at my house are cleaning day. I load the washer, fold clothes, clean out the refrigerator, and run the vacuum and the best part, scrub the toilets and showers. I love/hate the smell of dirt, last weeks garlic chicken, and dog hair... ahh, wonderful Mondays.

Yet My Mondays are supposed to be my day to not think too hard, just to do, simply do, what needs to be done. 

But, sometimes I catch myself thinking hard and long about how to clean, where to begin, and will I get it all done(?). Too much thinking on My Monday is exhausting.

I'll finish My Monday with an easy to fix dinner (that's salad at our house) and an episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I wonder, do those ladies clean out their fridge on Mondays or get on their hands and knees to scrape kleenex out of their dryer vent? I'll bet they do and they do it while wearing designer dresses and diamond earrings.

Folding underwear should not be a worry, it should just be... Monday.