Faith is Believing in what you do not see.

QUOTE OF MY DAY: Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.

There have been times that I have doubted faith, both in God, and in myself, especially my abilities. Not to mention society, government, friends, banks, and so on, and on... Faith is believing! 

It has always been MY choice what to believe in, or to... just believe. I am a christian and I DO believe in God, Jesus and the great divine power of both. And I have always believed in miracles, of the healing kind, blessing kind and the divine intervention kind. I believe that tomorrow will come, that my husband loves me,and  that i love my daughters more than my own life. But believing in myself comes much harder for me.

On a vacation,  a friend and I were in the deepest hand dug well in Greensburg, Kansas. We walked down the open stairs, winding downward, able to see all the way to the bottom of this big, giant hole. I froze. I suddenly realized I am afraid of heights.  Having to get assistance to pry my cold fingers from the railing, my friend guided me step-by-step backwards That  had proved it.  I am afraid... of heights.  

I began avoiding all open staircases, glass elevators, and anything tall. I  had accepted it. After several years of being afraid, I wanted to go zip lining so I started checking into facing my fear ( before summer and our trip to the zip lining tower, it had to be overcome).  

Perhaps, my fear was not of the height of something. Perhaps my fear could be... not believing in my own abilities? to not fall? to not trip? and finally... to not get scared?

I am learning to believe in myself, it is a daily process, one step at a time...

Flowers make me smile!

TODAY'S QUOTE: 

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.
Henri Matisse

Have you ever had a day where you just can't get organized, caught up, and spend most of the day chasing your to-do-list, or as we like to refer to it "putting out fires"? 

My yesterday was like that. I had computer/software problems that took 4 1/2 hours out of my day, then 2 trips to the Veterinarian, grocery store, laundry, etc. As I look back on it, it was a whirlwind, a blur of moving here and there, but getting little done.

Until my husband got home from work, I stopped it all, put the brakes on the gotta-get-it-done. I opened the fridge and started pulling things out that needed to be used up and set it all on the counter. Then I got out my big skillet (my favorite pan) and started cooking. Cooking makes me happy. An hour later, we had a delicious meal (that I created without a recipe), my rumbling tummy had quieted, and I had finally relaxed. Then I finished this whirlwind day with a bubble bath.

Sometimes I just have to stop, and end the chaos. I have a wall plaque that says: "Some days it's okay if all you do is breathe".  Well, sometime it's okay to stop and breathe, regroup and calm down. Enjoy your life, look at something that brings you both beauty and serenity and do something that you enjoy. Just stop and enjoy something.. even if it is just for a little bit of time.  

Look around, breathe, and relax....

Spending with a conscience...

Todays Quote:

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

US Today March 26th, 2013

On a recent trip to Little Rock, Arkansas, I picked up a USA Today Newspaper (free at our hotel) and on the cover was a story "Mellenials are demanding Capitalism with a Conscience...". 

What a great article, at a time when my husband was constantly reminding me that our country was in such bad shape.

This article tells us about U.S. consumers, born between 1982 and 2004, the trendsetting, if not free-spending group of 95 million Americans, who live and breathe social media and are broadly convinced that doing the right thing isn't just vogue, but mandatory. With nearly a third of the population driving this trend, kindness is becoming the nations newest currency.

In an ultra-transparent world, where information zips from Facebook to twitter to Instagram, just about everything a company does is out in the open according to John Mackey, co-founder of Whole foods. Millennials that got burned by the recession feel a resentment to consumerism, but had few alternatives. So they created one.

Alan Olsen eats two or three times a week - and volunteers once a week - at the Panera Cares in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago. At the five Panera Cares Restaurants, some customers don't pay at all  or pay what they can- but thats okay, because others are willing to pay extra. The profits are then used to train job-at-risk kids. And other companies are following suit.

Then in the line to pay for our lunch, the man behind me tried to "pay it forward". He wanted and tried to pay for our lunch.  I politely declined and told him that there had been times in the past when I would have humbly and gratefully accepted his kindness. But at the present time we are blessed and able, and thanked him from the bottom of my heart.  Needless to say the conversation over lunch was a lot more positive.

Even though you may not see it all of the time, kindness, gratitude and compassion is out there. You just have to pay attention, share it and you will see it. I plan to pay it forward the next time I am in line at the lunch counter. 

Perhaps I may lift someone up... and feel grateful for doing so.

Dogs are more than animals...

Monday, March 25...
Duker dog is not healing. He is my dog, my best pet friend.  He came to us one day after somebody dumped him at our house. He was a skeleton of a dog, hungry, scared, but wanting so badly to have someone love him. We went to the store, bought him a bag of Ol'Roy (cheap) dogfood and a leash. I told myself, this is what I will need until I find him a good home. I put the leash on him and he moved to my left side. We walked, he stayed right there, calm, on my left side. He paid attention and seemed to be so "greatfull" to be my new friend.  I fell in love. I didn't want a dog. But, after our walk, I wanted Duke. Back to the store, this time we bought him Pedigree dog food, dog treats, and a macho collar to go along with his leash.

Now, the vet says he may have cancer. He has tumors, and skin lesions. After a month of med's, and 7 trips to the vet, he is not getting better. I've had 4 greatfull years with him meeting me with a happy dance each time I pull into the driveway. He sings tunes at the top of his voice at night, making sure the coyotes know he is standing watch. He sometimes goes shopping at night (or should I say shoplifting?). He has brought me many presents, shoes (single shoes, not matching ones), toys, sticks, tupperware, and one time, he even brought me a beautiful pink bra (????).

I am greatfull for having him enter my life. He got me hooked on the show Dog Whisperer, so that I could be confident in handling such a large dog. He has walked in a parade,taken many naps on his blankie,  thinks he owns our golf cart, and is extremely LOYAL (and a good listener). He loves to go hiking, jumping into the lake, fetching frisbees, and sitting in the water to cool off.

Along with the blessings of my life,also comes the sadness.  Along with the beautiful sunrise starting my day, later comes the darkness of night. At this point, I am not sure what time it is in Duke's life, my companion may be facing death and I will face it with him, tears...

Duke passed away on April 4th, 2013. The house is quiet, the holes he dug (we called them his recliner)  in our yard have been filled, a rose bush has been planted in his memory.

Today is my beginning, my new journal to myself. I will borrow, beg, plead, appreciate and post items that make me happy, lift me up and keep me moving in a positive direction. I will include MUSIC, ART, PHOTOGRAPHY, QUOTES, RECIPES and anything else that makes me smile each day. I will address subjects that are laying heavy on my mind, my dreams, my hopes, and my losses.

Dear self, this is a new beginning in my journal writing. I have written journal entries in the past. They are scattered about, in many different places. They are unorganized,and  not easy to find. Some are positive, some are negative and some don't make any sense.

March 3, 2013 7:04 am