To ponder: to consider something deeply and thoroughly; to meditate; to weigh carefully in the mind; to reflect on; to turn over in one's mind.
This is week 4 of my positivity journey and I have felt like I am stuck, a bit numb inside and lost. It may have been the news that I may be facing another surgery, or that I won't know the answer for another 6 weeks.
I feel like I am in limbo again, waiting for someone else to tell me what lies ahead. I am not sure where to go from here.
I feel confused, disappointed, and a bit agitated.
Maybe I am just supposed to stay here for a while and PONDER over what I have learned along the way. I feel like a newborn bird about to take its first flight. Oh, so many decisions: Which way do I fly? How high do I fly? How do I find my way back? what if I fall? What if my wings are not strong enough?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5 & 6 NIV
In Chapter 13 of Joel Osteen's book The Power of I am, he tells a story about a young man from Tanzania. He is an olympic runner who breaks his leg halfway through the race of his lifetime. He falls, the other runners pass him. But he gets up, he continues at a slow pace. He reaches the end of the race long after the winners have left. There is no crowd cheering, the stadium is empty. He finally crosses that line. A reporter later asks him why he did not give up and quit. He says "My country didn't send me seven thousand miles to start the race but to finish it".
So, I will focus on the finish line. I will appreciate this time to reflect, to not think so much, to not over analyze. I will reach the finish line for I am blessed to be in the race.