Saturday, September 28, 2013

What do you say?

What do you say to someone whose infant son dies from crib death? He was just a few months old. She rocked him to sleep and laid him down for the night knowing that he would awake in a few hours hungry for another bottle. In those next few hours his life ended.

She buried her son.

What do you say to someone whose teenage daughter never came home? She had left with friends to go to a school rally, wearing her favorite pair of jeans and laughing with her friends. They went around a curve, lost control and her life ended.

She buried her daughter.

What do you say to someone whose grown son was buried today? She was so proud of him. He was a father to two small boys, a husband and a loving son. He called her and said he would see her tomorrow then he went to sleep and never woke up.  His life ended.

She buried her son.

What do you say?
I needed to know. I couldn't speak. What are those magical words that are going to lessen the pain and give comfort? What do you say to comfort a Mother who just buried her third and last child?

We have all heard them. But do they really mean anything? Or are they just those words we all say to each other when someone we love dies?

I leaned on my faith,
held her close
and told her I loved her.

Dedicated to my cousin Pam, whose heart is hurting.
May God bring her peace, restore her joy,
and bring light into her world.


  1. Prayers for Pam. Sometimes, Jackie, there just ARE NO WORDS. We lost a beautiful little granddaughter due to hospital error- THERE are no words. I lost my brother to cancer-diagnosed on Friday-died the following Tuesday-there are no words. Sometimes all you need to do is give the person a hug and say- I am so sorry. Just those words are enough. Tell Pam from all of us- That we are sorry. xo Diana

  2. Thank you Diana, your post made me feel good. This week has left my mind blank, just going through the motions, attending to responsibilities. I will tell Pam she is cared for, all over the world.

  3. I would tell her you don't have the words. And then give her a hug and let her cry. Sometimes there are no good answers. But God is STILL there. I am so sorry that is just awful.

  4. it's not what you say that's how you make them feel!! it's being there and saying nothing!!

    people will often forget the things you say, they will never forget the way you made them feel!!

  5. Oh, my. The only words that you can say are I'm sorry and I love you. Hug her and let her cry. Listen when she needs to babble on. Just being there is enough. The most important words are the ones to the Father for her. Just her name whispered is enough. He already knows...
    Came in to meet you and was reading through your blog and found this. So sorry for your loss and remember that anything from the heart is enough.


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