Life with...

I was born with a medical condition and had to spend most of my life going in and out of hospitals, doctors offices and labs. I really haven't known any other kind of life. I had to be able to tell someone where something was, when something was due, and how to get things done when I was absent. I ran a tight schedule and an organized home, because at times I was dependent on others to help me.

A trip to the grocery store had to be planned in advance, a route had to be selected, and a diet had to be followed. I became obsessed with planning, organizing and following the rules. I simply had to do, what I had to do.

No one could ever tell me why.

It came from nowhere 

and just seemed to choose me.

No family history, no exposure to caustic chemicals or foreign diseases. This disease just chose me. I have to admit at times, it made me feel special. 

Fifteen surgeries later, my body allowed me to relax. All those rules were able to be bent, but not broken. I could fluctuate from time to time and not be penalized by my own body. I had to adjust to a new body image, accept the changes, and learn to live differently. 

 My father said to me 

“You can still do what you always did,

you just have to find a new way to do it”. 

I can look back at my life and feel  blessed. This disease was a challenge... and a blessing. I was strong at times, weak at other times. I leaned on those who loved me, those who helped me. Now isn't that a blessing? To be loved? To be cared about? To be cared for?

I AM special.  I AM a survivor.  I AM loved.